How to tackle perfectionism when you’re studying abroad

Charlotte shares experience and three tips for managing perfectionism whilst studying abroad. 

- Charlotte

For anyone prone to suffering from perfectionism, life at university can be a little overwhelming sometimes. Universities can provide the optimal conditions for perfectionism to thrive; whether in formal exams, essays or sports fixtures, we are constantly measured, evaluated and compared against one another. Of course, striving to do well and desiring self-improvement can be great attributes to have, yet it is important to manage these thoughts for the sake of your mental-wellbeing.

As a Modern Languages student, I found that the negative effects of a perfectionist mindset were compounded when studying overseas for my Year Abroad. This was fuelled primarily by my own expectation that my time abroad would be crucial in the journey to becoming proficient in two foreign languages. Indeed, social media also plays a role in fuelling perfectionism. Scrolling through images of other students studying abroad and perceiving that they are travelling around their country more than you, or befriending more native students than you, can induce the feeling that you are somehow underachieving. 

Am I speaking enough French every day? Have I made enough Italian friends? Am I actually making the most of living abroad? Will everyone else return from their Year Abroad more fluent than me? These were all questions I would constantly ask myself. When you are prone to setting yourself to high standards, you can begin to believe that good enough is not enough; regardless of how much French or Italian I spoke, read or listened to in a particular day, I was aware that I could be speaking, reading or listening to even more. This is a dangerous mindset; it leads to an endless cycle of over-striving and self-disappointment, where you constantly feel as though you are failing to meet your own expectations.

However, there is hope! It is possible to tackle this troublesome perfectionist outlook – this is something I know from personal experience. By implementing these three small changes to my daily routine and attitude, I now manage my perfectionist tendencies much better and, perhaps ironically, I do now feel as though I am making the most out of my time abroad.

1. Focus on each day as it comes and less so on the long term

Try to focus on your plans for each particular day, rather than letting the long-term goals consume your thoughts. Setting one or two specific goals for each day will not only allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment, but also you will feel less disheartened about where you stand in achieving your long-term aims. 

2. Plan one trip away each month

Of course, you want to make the most of your time studying abroad, so try to book a trip away every month or so to somewhere new – even if it is just a day trip to a nearby city. This will give you something to look forward to on those days when perhaps you’re not feeling so great and will also remind you that you are making time to explore wherever you’re living. A change of scenery is very often a good shout for when you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with your university workload; keeping an eye on the latest travel advice will also keep your mind at ease.

3. Stay in regular contact with friends and family

Loneliness intensifies stress levels, so keeping in regular contact with your friends and family at home should not be underestimated. A FaceTime with your best friend, or quick call with your parents will remind you how great you already are.  It’s very likely that they think that the very essence of what you’re doing is really impressive; you should already be proud of yourself for the very fact that you’re living abroad, in a different culture, and speaking a foreign language. 

To quote an Italian proverb, ‘Le meglio è l'inimico del bene’ - ‘Perfection is the enemy of good’. Making the leap and heading off to study abroad is truly an amazing accomplishment in itself. If you can take a step back and recognise that what you’re doing right now is good enough, you will enjoy your time abroad so much more. With my advice and the vast array of information available from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office’s Travel Aware website, your Year Abroad will be as stress-free as possible.

For further information, advice and resources on looking after your wellbeing during a year abroad, click here. 

Hey, I'm Charlotte and I'm a third-year student at University College London. I'm writing for Student Minds to open up the conversation and raise awareness about mental health. 

Managing Your Mental Health Abroad

Emily shares experiences, advice and tips on looking after your mental health whilst abroad.

- Emily Maybanks

Whether it’s going on a year or a semester abroad as part of your degree course, or moving abroad after graduating from University, there are several things that can impact on your mental health whilst abroad. There are also things that you can do to maintain and manage your mental health whilst you are abroad. 

I recently moved abroad to the very cold city of Hohhot in China’s Inner Mongolia to take up a position as an English Teacher with Education First (EF). Since moving here, I have experienced challenges for my mental health, but I have also started to learn some strategies to cope with tougher days. 

Jet Lag 

Before moving to Hohhot, jet lag was something I had never experienced. In the first few days, I was so jet lagged and it seriously impacted on my mental health because my sleeping pattern had been completely thrown off course and I was feeling emotional and drained every day, whilst also trying to take in a new environment and lots of information at work. By the end of my first week, I was so exhausted and I was ill. What I took away from this was that I should have asked for more time to rest after the long journey. 

Culture Shock and Homesickness

Whether you move to somewhere in Europe, America or somewhere like Asia, culture shock is a thing! (The biggest culture shock I had in my first few hours in China was the toilet being a hole in the floor). With culture shock, it’s important to give yourself time to become acclimatised with your new country’s culture and way of life. Sometimes, culture shock can make you feel very homesick – which is a normal part of moving abroad – but you can always find some things which are very similar to back home. Also, pack things like home comforts in your luggage. I really wish that I’d packed some Crème Eggs… 

Try New Things and Explore

One way to maintain mental health and alleviate homesickness (which is completely natural and normal), is to get out and try new things in your new city. Go to a restaurant and eat some new food, or just go for a walk around. You’ll find that there’s so much to see and do. 

Reward Yourself 

Moving abroad is a big deal for anyone. Moving abroad with a mental health difficulty is an even bigger deal! Things which seem quite simple and normal back home such as going to the supermarket or getting a taxi are much more difficult and anxiety-inducing when you’re in a new place. Telling yourself stuff like “good job” when you do something difficult is important! 

Maintain Contact with Family and Friends at Home 

Moving abroad means leaving behind lots of people you love dearly. However, nowadays, social media, phones and apps like Skype and FaceTime make it a lot easier to keep in touch with your friends and family back at home. It is vital to maintain your support network at home so you can speak to them when you need to. Personally, I think I speak to my Mum more now I’ve moved to China that I did when I was living at home. 

Make New Friends 

This might seem like a contrast to my previous point, but meeting new people and making friends in your new country is equally, if not more, important that keeping in touch with friends and family at home. If you’re studying abroad, try joining a society or a club. When I studied abroad in Geneva for my year abroad, I joined a creative writing club which was a good way to meet people with the same interest as me. In China, it has been easier to make new friends as I work with lots of people. However, I do know that it is not always easy to make new friends when you move abroad. As long as you try, that’s what counts! 

Keep Up with Hobbies or Try Doing Something New

One of my passions is writing and I’ve been able to write a lot since arriving in China which has helped me by doing something I love, as well as given me something to talk about to my new colleagues and friends. Moving abroad is also a great opportunity to take up something new. Try learning a new language, taking up a sport – anything! Having a hobby and something you enjoy is important in maintaining mental health and alleviating loneliness and isolation abroad. Use your new surroundings and city as a chance to get creative – maybe start a journal or a blog (this is also a great way to keep in touch with friends and family at home). 

There is No Shame in Asking for Help

This is something I have certainly learnt in the few weeks that I have been in China – that it is okay and there is certainly no shame in reaching out for help and support. I count myself incredibly fortunate that I have the most supportive group of colleagues and very understanding managers and there have already been a few times where I’ve had to ask for support – emotional, physical and even financial. It might feel embarrassing and hard to do, but you may be surprised just who might be able to completely empathise with how you feel and will support you. 

To sum up, moving abroad can affect your mental health in so many ways. It’s important to find strategies to enable you to cope, as well as to develop and maintain a strong support network. Most importantly, have as much fun as possible! 

For more information, advice and resources on looking after your wellbeing during your year abroad, click here. 

My name is Emily (Em). Last summer, I graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting; I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students’ newspaper – Waterfront. At the beginning of 2019, I moved to Hohhot in Inner Mongolia in China to work as an English Teacher with Education First (EF). I blog for Student Minds because I experienced mental health issues as a student throughout my time at University and I also experience mental health difficulties now as a graduate; as well as other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences – both in helping me to explore and to cope with my own mental health and experiences, as well as sharing my story in order to help and inspire others.

How I Keep My Mind Happy on a Year Abroad

Abi shares what she found most important to keep herself happy on a year abroad.

- Abi 

In September, I moved to Italy for my Year Abroad. I have adventured around the country, made wonderful friends, and tried many new things – but it hasn’t been a walk in the park. Here is what I have learnt over the past few months about staying well abroad. 

Join Clubs:

I know my mind is happiest when it is kept busy, so joining societies was always going to be an integral part of staying well abroad. As soon as I arrived in Italy, I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone by joining an orchestra, a Christian Union and a youth volunteering group. Thanks to this, I’ve been able to settle into a routine and meet some friends who have helped make the tough times I’ve faced so far, a little less tough! So, it sounds obvious, but joining clubs is a really good way of seeing your Year Abroad location as ‘home’ rather than just a place you’re passing through.

Tick things off a bucket list:

The prospect of Year Abroad seemed so unknown compared to routinely university life in England, but I figured that gave me a blank slate to work with. Back in August, I decided to make myself two bucket lists to ensure I make the most out of my year. The first was for all the places I want to travel to and experiences I want to live. The second was for ways in which I want to push myself out of my comfort zone in order to grow mentally throughout the year. This includes things like asking a question in a lecture and speaking on the phone in Italian. The satisfaction I get from ticking things off this bucket list is enough to help me keep striving through the year towards my next goal.

Put Down Your Phone:

Keeping things in perspective is crucial for my mental state. Everyone has their highs and lows but, surprisingly or not, it’s usually only the best parts that are shared on Instagram and Facebook. I deleted the majority of my social media apps so that I stop comparing my seemingly average Year Abroad experience to those of other people, and start appreciating it for what it is. So, take some advice from a fellow Year Abroad student who is living their fair share of struggles away from home: limit time spent on social media and take what you do see published with a pinch of salt.

Keep a ‘Positive Diary’:

Like a lot of people, I tend to dwell on my faults and failures much more than on my successes. And, unfortunately for me, the dreaded language and cultural barriers mean that mistakes are part and parcel of living in a foreign country. So, at the end of every day, I write down a few things I can be proud of or happy about. This helps me to remember how much I am gaining from the experience and is also a great way of keeping a record of my everyday life which I know I’ll love looking back on in years to come. 

Scrapbook:

Sometimes we all need an escape. I’ve needed to use mine a lot since moving to Italy. Scrapbooking is one of my favourites. When things get a bit much, my go-to measure is to pop the kettle on, blast some Tom Odell, and do some mindful cutting and gluing. Looking at all the photos and scraps I’ve collected from around Italy reminds me of how much I’ve accomplished since arriving here, and how worth the efforts and tears my Year Abroad is after all. It makes me proud to be able to say that I’ve left my comfort zone far behind and managed something I didn’t think I was capable of.

Keep in contact with your home university:

And last but not least, remember that Universities have wellbeing services which can still offer you support whilst you’re abroad. It’s okay not to be okay, whether you’re in the UK, or further afield.

Hello! I am a third-year Modern Languages student at the University of Exeter. I wish to use what I've learnt from my mental health struggles to help other students, as well as to break down the stigma surrounding issues to make it easier for people to speak out and seek help.

Click here for more tips on a Year Abroad

Year Abroad Blues

Paige shares her tips for keeping the international experience alive when you return from your year abroad.

- Paige

A year abroad is an experience that seems to end as quickly as it started. When it draws to a close, it’s most likely you’ll be wondering why you were so apprehensive nine months earlier. Yes, in the same amount of time it takes to carry a baby to full term, you’ve given birth to a whole range of life-changing and unforgettable experiences. You’ve survived speaking Spanish or French every day, detoxed from not being allowed to drink alcohol in the USA, and accepted that supermarkets just don’t open on Sundays in Germany. And there lies the kicker: just as you’ve immersed yourself in living in a different country and culture, it’s time to head back to your rainy British university town for final year. Salamanca will be swapped for Sheffield, Los Angeles for Leeds, and Melbourne for Manchester.

Though nothing beats being back with your old friends, there’s no doubt you feel like you’ve left a part of yourself behind in your year abroad destination. All you want to do is talk about the experience, but your mates just aren’t interested in hearing the story about how you hitchhiked through Tel Aviv for the hundredth time. It may not be immediately obvious but living in a different country for a year has changed you; and, it’s very likely, the place you came accustomed to calling “home” when you moved to university just doesn’t feel that way any longer.

There are, however, steps you can take to keep the international experience alive when you move back to the UK. We’ve compiled a list of how you can “continue” your year abroad back home – even if it does mean having to juggle things alongside your finals!

1. Visit your international friends

One of the best things about being on a year abroad is the friends you make from all over the world. Unfortunately, being able to visit them in their home countries depends a lot on where they are based. If you engaged in an Erasmus exchange and made friends in Europe, visiting them will obviously be easier than if you studied further afield. Airlines offer low cost travel to a variety of European destinations, and if you have the option of staying with your international friend, it will make the trip even cheaper! Being able to visit your friends will rekindle those memories you shared together when studying abroad and, if you’re a linguist, will offer a great opportunity to practise your second language. Of course, you can always encourage your friends to visit you in the UK, at your home or university town!

2. Take cheap weekend breaks

Even if it’s too difficult to visit your friends in their home country, there is always the option to meet somewhere else for a weekend. Or, if you fancy a trip on your own, travelling to a new destination can give you that same rush of wanderlust you had when you first moved abroad. Taking a short and cheap holiday will break up the monotonous pace of the semester and will give you something to aim for once you’ve handed your assignments in.

No matter how close to the UK you travel, always take out travel insurance to ensure you’re covered for costs in case of injury abroad. The Foreign and Commonwealth Office has more advice on what you should cover with travel insurance here. Also use the FCO’s website to check for updates on travel safety. They have a directory of every country in the world with live travel updates here. If the FCO advises against travel to a certain country, don’t be tempted to go –  no matter how cheap the trip is!

3. Join your university’s Erasmus and Year Abroad societies

If your university offers year abroad opportunities, then it’s almost certain that they will have a society dedicated to welcoming incoming international students. Joining these societies offers a fantastic way to make even more international friends (which means even more places to visit at a later point). It will also offer a rewarding experience of making an international student feel welcome at your university – you could even offer to show them all of your favourite sights in town. Think of the help you were/would have been grateful for at your destination and aim to replicate it. The society will normally be run by fellow students at your university who’ve been on exchange years. If your normal circle of friends has grown tired of your ramblings, you can meet with students who have more understanding as to why you miss your year abroad so much!

4. Learn a new language

Bring a slice of the world into your own home! Learning a second language has never been easier thanks to apps such as DuoLingo. If you’ve grown accustomed to the international lifestyle, speaking a second language will also greatly increase your chances of securing employment abroad. It will also help you to decide on further destinations you’d like to visit in the future to test your language skills. Which brings us onto our next point…

5. Connect with an international pen pal

DuoLingo offers groups you can join to practise languages with fellow users. There are also a variety of pen pal websites to be found online. Connecting with a native speaker will be invaluable to improving your language skills. It will also offer the opportunity to create even more friendships overseas!

I am a final year undergraduate at the University of Birmingham studying Philosophy. I spent my third year studying in University College Dublin, Ireland and really enjoyed every second of it! I now want to help other undergraduates consider taking a year abroad as part of their studies and as part of this.

Planning My Way Across the World

Chelsea shares her tips to help loosen the anxiety when travelling the world.

- Chelsea Smith

Don’t get me wrong, I love travelling. I love the freedom, the exploration and immersion of all your senses into something new. But then as I lie in bed the night before a flight I have that niggling feeling of anxiety. I’m about to fly however many miles away; away from what I know, away from the only language I speak fluently, to somewhere where anything could happen. Then my head is circling in a series of what ifs, and I don’t get any sleep the night before my flight to however many miles away.

Specifically, this was me the night before I flew out to Mexico. It was my first truly international trip, outside my safe confines of Europe where I could be home in a couple of hours if anything went wrong. Since then I’ve learnt how to loosen the anxiety the night before and leading up to a trip away.

For me, a mixture of things has helped. I do really enjoy yoga and have found it has helped a lot with my stress in general, but before a trip I do tend to end up on the mat a lot more. The control I have over myself whilst in a yoga flow and the breathing techniques taught within yoga help remind me that I am in control. No matter what could happen however many miles away, I will be able to deal with it, breathing in and out.

As well as this, planning and researching my trips has helped me to feel more excited than anxious about stepping off the plane however many miles away. Looking into the culture and appropriate clothing to be worn in Uganda made me feel more comfortable and confident that I was packing suitably for my volunteer trip to Kampala and more rural areas of Uganda. Knowing I had a backpack full of clothes that would help me blend in and not stick out like a sore thumb – or worse, offend someone – reassured my anxious self into having a better night’s sleep.

Sometimes I find myself getting a little worried whilst I’m away as well, specifically the night before I do something adventurous, outside my comfort zone. The night before I was set to go out and try white water rafting for this first time, it’s fair to say I tossed and turned a little. However, it was a great comfort that I’d looked into the company I was rafting with before I arrived; I was confident with their reviews and they were a reputable group of people to go head first into the water with. This, coupled with my comprehensive insurance, acted as a blanket of reassurance that relieved most of my anxiety.

Everyone is different, and this may not work for everyone, but when you love to travel you don’t want to let your anxiety get in the way. Finding techniques like this, that work for you, can really help transform your travel experience into a more stress free and enjoyable experience.

Hi, I'm Chelsea a third-year Geography student at the University of Southampton. I'm currently an FCO student ambassador and Travel Editor, finding relaxation through writing.

How to Survive Your Year Abroad as a Chronic Worrier

Rosie shares her tips on how to survive your year abroad as a chronic worrier.

- Rosie Wright

A year abroad can be a very stressful time for anyone. You are moving to a new place with new people, and a language which isn’t your own. Being a chronic worrier like myself, this could completely freak you out. However, if you follow these simple steps, you can keep the worrying at bay and enjoy this very exciting time in your life:

Plan, plan, plan: as soon as you know where you are going, look for accommodation. Seek out the best coffee shops, the best bars, the best places to eat. Look up the public transport and work out your route to work/university – you can even take a walk around the streets on Google Maps. Once you get accustomed to the place you are going to live, you will start to relax and be able to enjoy the experience.

Keep busy/give yourself distractions: to set your mind at ease and get out of your own head the best thing to do is keep busy. Make plans with friends, flatmates or other new people you have met. Get your friends from home to come visit, and you can be their very own tour guide. Invite your mum for the weekend and get her to bring some home comforts (PG Tips and chocolate fingers basically saw me through my stint in Leipzig – you’re the best, Mum!). Doing new things with a familiar face is incredibly comforting, but exploring your new home with new faces can be exciting too.

Get a feel for the place: go on walks and check out new places. Go and visit all the coffee shops you found online at home. Try out different restaurants or even takeaways. Find some favourite spots so that you know you will have safe havens around the city should you start to feel nervous. Seek out the nearest homeware shop (if you find a Primark you are on to a winner!) so you can make your room yours. You’ll feel instantly more comfortable and less worried with a cosy room and a feel for your new city.

Having a routine: this one is important. Get up at the same time each day, and make sure to have an indulgent and stress free morning so that you are not worrying before you even get out the front door! You could even fit in some exercise if you are feeling adventurous. Make sure you know what you are going to eat, and that you have some meals planned you will look forward to. Try to go to bed at a similar time every day too, and make sure you feel comfortable in your room, so you can sleep. If you are also scared of the dark – like me, at the ridiculous age of 23 – get some cute fairy lights or a night light to ensure you get off to sleep easily.

Have someone to turn to: whether it’s your mum, your grandad, your best friend or your dog via Facetime, it’s important to have someone there to listen when it all gets too much, even if it’s just ringing your mum, or going round to a friend’s flat who also lives in the area. You never know when you’ll need someone to talk to and calm you down, so knowing there is one person (or more than one if you are lucky like I was!) you can rely on no matter what will set your mind at ease. Even if it’s just having them send you dog memes, having them on the other end of the phone is incredibly soothing.

Try to make the most of your year abroad despite your worries and most importantly – have fun! This is a once in a lifetime experience to pack up and move somewhere exciting, and one you will look back on fondly later in life!

Hi, I'm Rosie and I'm a final year German student at the University of Manchester. Having suffered with mental health issues throughout University and especially on year abroad, I wanted to speak up and break the stigma surrounding mental health.