10 ways to be body-kind

Caitlin shares her top 10 tips to be more body kind and how we should start being nicer to ourselves and our bodies. 

- Caitlin

For a lot of us - myself included - the way we perceive our bodies can often be distorted, and the things we say about our appearances can unfortunately be very unkind sometimes. We really can be our own worst enemies, but it is possible change this! It’s time we all started being nicer to ourselves and our bodies. Of course it’s not an easy job or an overnight success, so to help you, here are some little tips you can use which will hopefully encourage you to view your body in a more positive light and appreciate it for how beautiful and wonderful it really is.

1. Appreciate how your body works
Our bodies really are miracle-workers. Just think of all the tasks and functions they perform every single day without us even having to worry - it’s incredible! We should be thanking our bodies for looking after us, and in turn, look after them. I think it’s also important to appreciate what our bodies can do and not what they can’t do.

2. Treat your body
When I think of ‘treat’, the image of eating chocolate brownies and watching TV springs to mind. For others, it might be cooking up a new recipe, having a duvet-day or going out for a run. Whatever it is that makes you feel good - go ahead and do it! You deserve to feel happy and your body will love you for it.

3. Use social media to your advantage
We all know the internet can be both a blessing and a curse when it comes to body image. So, my tip is to ask yourself whilst you’re scrolling through social media: “is this making me unhappy?”. If the answer is ‘yes’, stop. Make sure you’re having a good time! Try following body-positive blogs like nonairbrushedme, bbcbodypositive and i_weigh.

4. Talk to people
Talking about body image can be quite daunting but it’s definitely worth it. Whether you’re sharing feelings about your own body with a friend or seeking advice from a GP or university support system, it’s good to start a conversation. You’ll not only be helping yourself but you may inspire someone else to be kinder to their body or even get help.

5. Set positive goals
Setting goals and targets is something we all do, and many of these may be body-related. The best kind of goals are the ones which aren’t based on restrictions and instead focus on things you can improve on rather than omit. A challenge can be great, but keep in mind that both your mental and physical wellness is your priority.

6. Understand that your mind and body are linked
I believe that the key to happiness is knowing that a healthy mind is a healthy body, and a healthy body is a healthy mind. They work together. Getting enough sleep, nutrition and exercise will make you feel happier, and if you feel good in yourself mentally, you’ll feel physically better too. As they say, it’s all about a healthy balance.

7. Celebrate your uniqueness
Your uniqueness is what make you special, and body diversity allows us to celebrate our individual differences. Comparing our “weird and wonderful” bodies with others can be fun and interesting but it should never be a negative thing or feel like a competition. Be confident and happy in yourself exactly as you are. The things that make you you are beautiful.

8. Take those compliments!
It’s easy to brush off or reject a compliment, especially if it’s about your body image. Though it may feel strange at first, actively try to respond positively and accept the compliment - and believe it too! Teaching yourself to do this is a great way to be body-kind and makes both the giver and the receiver of the compliment feel good.

9. Accept that your body changes
As we grow and develop, our bodies naturally change in terms of how they look and how they work. This is just part of life, and accepting that your body is different now to how it was ten years ago or even ten months ago can help you see yourself in a more positive light. In essence, don’t compare yourself to yourself!

10. Know that beauty is subjective
I strongly believe that we shouldn’t set our appearances against a certain standard of beauty because there isn’t one. It simply doesn’t exist. There is no one way we should look, no one way we should dress and no one way we should define ourselves. Create your own beauty and allow yourself to find happiness and strength within that beauty.

And there you have it - 10 ways to be body-kind. It might take time, but I hope these little tips help you feel positive about your body, as you deserve to.

Hello! I’m Caitlin and I’m a student at The University of York. I’m writing for Student Minds with the aim of encouraging people to be kinder to their bodies as well as their minds - and to have fun whilst doing it!

How We Can Rebuild

Michael shares three strategies for rebuilding after mental health difficulties. 

- Michael Rigby

Getting back up from a dark place can be the biggest challenge. Whatever the situation, it will take time to repair. I haven’t written a blog for a long time because I’ve been focused on making changes in my life. At first, I made excuses and ran away from any confronting challenge that came at me. But over time I realised that wasn’t me and I can’t do that. I wanted to make a change. I understand that we all respond to mental health difficulties in our own ways. However, we can experience similar paths and benefit from similar strategies. Here is the three changes that I’ve made to help break the barriers of mental health difficulties. 

1. Create a Routine

Start this routine slowly and build on it. Wake up, stretch, make your bed and drink some water. Carry out your day as you intend. This helped me to stay focused and on track. 

2. Less Social Media

Limit the time you invest into your mobile. Use it for necessary reasons. If you look down at your phone whilst sitting/ walking in a park on your lunch break, how about look up? Enjoy your surroundings in the present moment, and create opportunities to connect with others.  

3. Become Comfortable with Yourself

This includes everyday life. Be yourself in any situation. It’s easy to say, but confidence is built up. I tried to build up my confidence gradually. For me, I had to recognise and accept that nobody is perfect, and that we all make mistakes. Also, be comfortable with your ambitions in life. Create your own happiness where you can. 

Small decisions can change your whole life. I’m still rebuilding, but I’m on the way to building my own fortress. We are all able to make positive changes. I understand that mental health difficulties can try to stop us, but we can all make small changes to rebuild our lives, ourselves and our situation. 

For more information, advice and strategies for looking after your wellbeing, click here.

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety since the age of 14.

University and First Year Struggles

Meg talks about the struggles that students can face and how to look positively to the future. 

The year was 2011. The season was summer and, boy, was I loving life. A young, fresh-faced 18 year old who had passed their exams and bagged a spot into uni. I’d ticked off a summer holiday with the girls, my 18th birthday and school prom. What a time to be alive! Little did I know how my life would change in the coming months.

Hey, the name’s Meg. Nice to meet you! I’m 25 from South Wales and here’s my story of how my first year of university changed my life.

My amazing summer had come to an end and soon enough I would be moving far away from the South Wales valleys. 3.5hrs on the train to Derby was my new home and as most budding students feel when they leave home, I felt a mix of excitement and fear. I’d been chatting to my future flat mates on a Facebook group and we were all so excited to meet each other! I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I was so nervous. We hugged our families goodbye and there we were, a bunch of awkward girls from different parts of the country about to live together for the next year. Next thing, we are socialising with a building full of people and alcohol was flowing. And here started the student life!

The student life can be a very overwhelming experience for some with so much change happening at a quick pace and that’s certainly how it felt for me. My social life was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I was partying every week, sometimes every other night and all food and sleep patterns went flying out the window! It was exciting to meet lots of new people but also having to navigate around an unknown city and start a new course was very daunting. For a good few months I was building what I saw at the time as solid bonds with flat mates and constantly socialising but it wasn’t until a few months in did I realise how much it was all catching up to me.

After such a whirlwind couple of weeks, things started to go downhill very rapidly for me which felt like it came out of nowhere. All of a sudden, my emotions became very apparent and feelings of anger and upset constantly ripped through me (mainly whenever alcohol was involved). I was really disliking my uni course and I think I was probably very homesick and didn’t even know it. Nights out started to become very messy and dark and I soon found myself spiralling into a depression and started to self harm. I’d never known anything like this in my world. I’d always been the happy go lucky, positive bunny throughout my life and all of a sudden things were feeling very different. My feelings were constantly masked with partying and socialising and trying to nose dive deep into other people’s problems whilst I was also battling a tormenting habit myself. I was very much in denial and it took a very tragic moment of a thankfully- failed - attempted suicide whilst very intoxicated to snap me out of it.

Looking back now, it all feels like such a blur and I am thankfully not in that frame of mind anymore. It’s been a very long and continuing journey of recovery since those dark days but I am happy to be progressing and feeling stronger and happier. Although times were tough, I managed to push through it and I actually took the right steps to make things better for me by transferring to a university in my hometown and got to complete my degree, eventually earning a 2:1 and winning a student of the year award for my course. Woo go me!

And that’s really what this story is about is to just say, it’s okay and it can get better even at the lowest of points. I never thought I could get through what happened but here I am 7/8 years later, a homeowner and a fully fledged adult!!

First year can be fantastic and exciting and I certainly did have positives during some parts and lots of fun but it is also an overwhelming time and a lot to take on. I think it’s just important to keep an open mind in that good and bad days can happen whilst you’re embarking on your uni journey and if it’s truly not for you then that’s fine but sometimes with a little faith and willpower, you’d be amazed at what you can go on to achieve!

My name is Meg. I am 25 and live in the beautiful Cardiff Bay. I work in events/venue management for a University and am a part time secret singer and music lover. Concerts and musical theatre are my thing and I also enjoy blogging about my life and mental health advocacy. You can check out more of my music stuff on my youtube (www.youtube.com/mwigleysongs) or my blog at https://meganwigley.wordpress.com/.

For more information or support visit: Starting Uni 

How to tackle perfectionism when you’re studying abroad

Charlotte shares experience and three tips for managing perfectionism whilst studying abroad. 

- Charlotte

For anyone prone to suffering from perfectionism, life at university can be a little overwhelming sometimes. Universities can provide the optimal conditions for perfectionism to thrive; whether in formal exams, essays or sports fixtures, we are constantly measured, evaluated and compared against one another. Of course, striving to do well and desiring self-improvement can be great attributes to have, yet it is important to manage these thoughts for the sake of your mental-wellbeing.

As a Modern Languages student, I found that the negative effects of a perfectionist mindset were compounded when studying overseas for my Year Abroad. This was fuelled primarily by my own expectation that my time abroad would be crucial in the journey to becoming proficient in two foreign languages. Indeed, social media also plays a role in fuelling perfectionism. Scrolling through images of other students studying abroad and perceiving that they are travelling around their country more than you, or befriending more native students than you, can induce the feeling that you are somehow underachieving. 

Am I speaking enough French every day? Have I made enough Italian friends? Am I actually making the most of living abroad? Will everyone else return from their Year Abroad more fluent than me? These were all questions I would constantly ask myself. When you are prone to setting yourself to high standards, you can begin to believe that good enough is not enough; regardless of how much French or Italian I spoke, read or listened to in a particular day, I was aware that I could be speaking, reading or listening to even more. This is a dangerous mindset; it leads to an endless cycle of over-striving and self-disappointment, where you constantly feel as though you are failing to meet your own expectations.

However, there is hope! It is possible to tackle this troublesome perfectionist outlook – this is something I know from personal experience. By implementing these three small changes to my daily routine and attitude, I now manage my perfectionist tendencies much better and, perhaps ironically, I do now feel as though I am making the most out of my time abroad.

1. Focus on each day as it comes and less so on the long term

Try to focus on your plans for each particular day, rather than letting the long-term goals consume your thoughts. Setting one or two specific goals for each day will not only allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment, but also you will feel less disheartened about where you stand in achieving your long-term aims. 

2. Plan one trip away each month

Of course, you want to make the most of your time studying abroad, so try to book a trip away every month or so to somewhere new – even if it is just a day trip to a nearby city. This will give you something to look forward to on those days when perhaps you’re not feeling so great and will also remind you that you are making time to explore wherever you’re living. A change of scenery is very often a good shout for when you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with your university workload; keeping an eye on the latest travel advice will also keep your mind at ease.

3. Stay in regular contact with friends and family

Loneliness intensifies stress levels, so keeping in regular contact with your friends and family at home should not be underestimated. A FaceTime with your best friend, or quick call with your parents will remind you how great you already are.  It’s very likely that they think that the very essence of what you’re doing is really impressive; you should already be proud of yourself for the very fact that you’re living abroad, in a different culture, and speaking a foreign language. 

To quote an Italian proverb, ‘Le meglio è l'inimico del bene’ - ‘Perfection is the enemy of good’. Making the leap and heading off to study abroad is truly an amazing accomplishment in itself. If you can take a step back and recognise that what you’re doing right now is good enough, you will enjoy your time abroad so much more. With my advice and the vast array of information available from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office’s Travel Aware website, your Year Abroad will be as stress-free as possible.

For further information, advice and resources on looking after your wellbeing during a year abroad, click here. 

Hey, I'm Charlotte and I'm a third-year student at University College London. I'm writing for Student Minds to open up the conversation and raise awareness about mental health. 

Overcoming the stigmas associated with invisible disabilities

Niraj writes about the importance of recognising all disabilities. 

Many people could assume when hearing the word disability is that it refers to someone on a wheelchair, or someone that is blind. However, something that isn’t often talked about enough is invisible disabilities. “Invisible disabilities” is an umbrella term that is used to describe a wide range of disabilities that aren’t immediately visible. They are the same as any other disability in that it creates difficulties for the person that has it. However, as they aren’t visibly apparent, it can be hard for others to understand the difficulties that someone with an invisible disability can face. This article discusses invisible disabilities in more detail, the impact it has on the people that have them, and the stigma that is associated with this type of disability.

Many invisible disabilities affect people on a daily basis. For example, chronic fatigue syndrome causes persistent tiredness and fatigue, and generalized anxiety disorder can mean that a person finds it hard to concentrate in even the most basic of tasks. Other invisible disabilities include sleeping disorders and epilepsy. It is clear that all of these provide several challenges to the person that has them, however these challenges sometimes aren’t seen by other people. For example, someone with generalized anxiety disorder may find it hard to go to sleep and have constant headaches on a daily basis but they may appear completely fine whenever you see them. It is worth noting that although people with invisible disabilities struggle differently to those with physical disabilities, these struggles can still take a toll on their mental health and psychological wellbeing.

Unfortunately, a lot of stigma is associated with invisible disabilities. Why is this? One reason, and arguably the reason that we need to be aware about is the non-visible nature of these disabilities. Living with an invisible disability means that you can appear fine on the outside, so people make the misguided assumption that if the disability cannot be seen, then it shouldn’t be taken seriously. This is why some people don’t tell others about their invisible disability due to fear that their disability may be seen as invalid and that they are just faking everything. Furthermore, what complicates things further is that some invisible disabilities can vary in severity. A good example would be someone with a mental health condition. Someone with a mental health condition can have weeks where things go perfectly fine, as well as weeks where every day is a struggle, and other people can struggle to understand why every day is so different.  Unfortunately, discrimination against people with an invisible disability can sometimes happen in the workplace. Employers are usually comfortable with accommodating employees with visible disabilities as these are disabilities that can be seen, however the same is not always true for employees with invisible disabilities.

We need to ask the question, how can we raise awareness and be more understanding of invisible disabilities in particular? First of all, it is crucial to realise that it is quite common and that it spans a wide range of symptoms. As some people with invisible disabilities don’t open up about their disability, it is easy to think that invisible disabilities are rare, whereas that is not the case. However, the thing in which I think is the most important to understand is that invisible disabilities are disabilities in their own right and should be treated as such. Invisible disabilities shouldn’t be seen differently to visible disabilities just because one can be seen and one can’t, as either way, it causes difficulties to the person that has it. If an employer or a university department can make reasonable adjustments for people with visible disabilities, then they should definitely be able to do the same for people with invisible disabilities.

If you are someone that currently has an invisible disability of any sort then it is not something to be ashamed about and it certainly does not make you any less of a person. It cannot be underestimated that students with invisible disabilities have gained valuable skills such as adaptability and resilience by being able to not give up despite the limitations that they may face, and that is something that is highly commendable.

Despite the stigma that may come with invisible disabilities, there are still several methods of support that are available to university students for a wide range of invisible disabilities, and getting in contact with the Disability Services department at your university can potentially be very useful. Moreover, being able to share and open up about your experiences with an invisible disability can go a long way in educating others and overcoming the stereotype that currently exists in society. It is paramount that we move beyond the stigma that currently exists, and not make judgements about someone purely from what you see on the outside.

Hi, I'm Niraj! I am a third year student from the University of Warwick studying Maths, Operational Research, Statistics and Economics. Having suffered from anxiety issues whilst at university, I know about the various mental health issues that university students face, and how tough it can be. I therefore want to raise awareness on different aspects of mental health and well being, and help as many people as I can by sharing my own experiences.

For more support visit here.

Managing Your Mental Health Abroad

Emily shares experiences, advice and tips on looking after your mental health whilst abroad.

- Emily Maybanks

Whether it’s going on a year or a semester abroad as part of your degree course, or moving abroad after graduating from University, there are several things that can impact on your mental health whilst abroad. There are also things that you can do to maintain and manage your mental health whilst you are abroad. 

I recently moved abroad to the very cold city of Hohhot in China’s Inner Mongolia to take up a position as an English Teacher with Education First (EF). Since moving here, I have experienced challenges for my mental health, but I have also started to learn some strategies to cope with tougher days. 

Jet Lag 

Before moving to Hohhot, jet lag was something I had never experienced. In the first few days, I was so jet lagged and it seriously impacted on my mental health because my sleeping pattern had been completely thrown off course and I was feeling emotional and drained every day, whilst also trying to take in a new environment and lots of information at work. By the end of my first week, I was so exhausted and I was ill. What I took away from this was that I should have asked for more time to rest after the long journey. 

Culture Shock and Homesickness

Whether you move to somewhere in Europe, America or somewhere like Asia, culture shock is a thing! (The biggest culture shock I had in my first few hours in China was the toilet being a hole in the floor). With culture shock, it’s important to give yourself time to become acclimatised with your new country’s culture and way of life. Sometimes, culture shock can make you feel very homesick – which is a normal part of moving abroad – but you can always find some things which are very similar to back home. Also, pack things like home comforts in your luggage. I really wish that I’d packed some Crème Eggs… 

Try New Things and Explore

One way to maintain mental health and alleviate homesickness (which is completely natural and normal), is to get out and try new things in your new city. Go to a restaurant and eat some new food, or just go for a walk around. You’ll find that there’s so much to see and do. 

Reward Yourself 

Moving abroad is a big deal for anyone. Moving abroad with a mental health difficulty is an even bigger deal! Things which seem quite simple and normal back home such as going to the supermarket or getting a taxi are much more difficult and anxiety-inducing when you’re in a new place. Telling yourself stuff like “good job” when you do something difficult is important! 

Maintain Contact with Family and Friends at Home 

Moving abroad means leaving behind lots of people you love dearly. However, nowadays, social media, phones and apps like Skype and FaceTime make it a lot easier to keep in touch with your friends and family back at home. It is vital to maintain your support network at home so you can speak to them when you need to. Personally, I think I speak to my Mum more now I’ve moved to China that I did when I was living at home. 

Make New Friends 

This might seem like a contrast to my previous point, but meeting new people and making friends in your new country is equally, if not more, important that keeping in touch with friends and family at home. If you’re studying abroad, try joining a society or a club. When I studied abroad in Geneva for my year abroad, I joined a creative writing club which was a good way to meet people with the same interest as me. In China, it has been easier to make new friends as I work with lots of people. However, I do know that it is not always easy to make new friends when you move abroad. As long as you try, that’s what counts! 

Keep Up with Hobbies or Try Doing Something New

One of my passions is writing and I’ve been able to write a lot since arriving in China which has helped me by doing something I love, as well as given me something to talk about to my new colleagues and friends. Moving abroad is also a great opportunity to take up something new. Try learning a new language, taking up a sport – anything! Having a hobby and something you enjoy is important in maintaining mental health and alleviating loneliness and isolation abroad. Use your new surroundings and city as a chance to get creative – maybe start a journal or a blog (this is also a great way to keep in touch with friends and family at home). 

There is No Shame in Asking for Help

This is something I have certainly learnt in the few weeks that I have been in China – that it is okay and there is certainly no shame in reaching out for help and support. I count myself incredibly fortunate that I have the most supportive group of colleagues and very understanding managers and there have already been a few times where I’ve had to ask for support – emotional, physical and even financial. It might feel embarrassing and hard to do, but you may be surprised just who might be able to completely empathise with how you feel and will support you. 

To sum up, moving abroad can affect your mental health in so many ways. It’s important to find strategies to enable you to cope, as well as to develop and maintain a strong support network. Most importantly, have as much fun as possible! 

For more information, advice and resources on looking after your wellbeing during your year abroad, click here. 

My name is Emily (Em). Last summer, I graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting; I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students’ newspaper – Waterfront. At the beginning of 2019, I moved to Hohhot in Inner Mongolia in China to work as an English Teacher with Education First (EF). I blog for Student Minds because I experienced mental health issues as a student throughout my time at University and I also experience mental health difficulties now as a graduate; as well as other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences – both in helping me to explore and to cope with my own mental health and experiences, as well as sharing my story in order to help and inspire others.

How I Keep My Mind Happy on a Year Abroad

Abi shares what she found most important to keep herself happy on a year abroad.

- Abi 

In September, I moved to Italy for my Year Abroad. I have adventured around the country, made wonderful friends, and tried many new things – but it hasn’t been a walk in the park. Here is what I have learnt over the past few months about staying well abroad. 

Join Clubs:

I know my mind is happiest when it is kept busy, so joining societies was always going to be an integral part of staying well abroad. As soon as I arrived in Italy, I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone by joining an orchestra, a Christian Union and a youth volunteering group. Thanks to this, I’ve been able to settle into a routine and meet some friends who have helped make the tough times I’ve faced so far, a little less tough! So, it sounds obvious, but joining clubs is a really good way of seeing your Year Abroad location as ‘home’ rather than just a place you’re passing through.

Tick things off a bucket list:

The prospect of Year Abroad seemed so unknown compared to routinely university life in England, but I figured that gave me a blank slate to work with. Back in August, I decided to make myself two bucket lists to ensure I make the most out of my year. The first was for all the places I want to travel to and experiences I want to live. The second was for ways in which I want to push myself out of my comfort zone in order to grow mentally throughout the year. This includes things like asking a question in a lecture and speaking on the phone in Italian. The satisfaction I get from ticking things off this bucket list is enough to help me keep striving through the year towards my next goal.

Put Down Your Phone:

Keeping things in perspective is crucial for my mental state. Everyone has their highs and lows but, surprisingly or not, it’s usually only the best parts that are shared on Instagram and Facebook. I deleted the majority of my social media apps so that I stop comparing my seemingly average Year Abroad experience to those of other people, and start appreciating it for what it is. So, take some advice from a fellow Year Abroad student who is living their fair share of struggles away from home: limit time spent on social media and take what you do see published with a pinch of salt.

Keep a ‘Positive Diary’:

Like a lot of people, I tend to dwell on my faults and failures much more than on my successes. And, unfortunately for me, the dreaded language and cultural barriers mean that mistakes are part and parcel of living in a foreign country. So, at the end of every day, I write down a few things I can be proud of or happy about. This helps me to remember how much I am gaining from the experience and is also a great way of keeping a record of my everyday life which I know I’ll love looking back on in years to come. 

Scrapbook:

Sometimes we all need an escape. I’ve needed to use mine a lot since moving to Italy. Scrapbooking is one of my favourites. When things get a bit much, my go-to measure is to pop the kettle on, blast some Tom Odell, and do some mindful cutting and gluing. Looking at all the photos and scraps I’ve collected from around Italy reminds me of how much I’ve accomplished since arriving here, and how worth the efforts and tears my Year Abroad is after all. It makes me proud to be able to say that I’ve left my comfort zone far behind and managed something I didn’t think I was capable of.

Keep in contact with your home university:

And last but not least, remember that Universities have wellbeing services which can still offer you support whilst you’re abroad. It’s okay not to be okay, whether you’re in the UK, or further afield.

Hello! I am a third-year Modern Languages student at the University of Exeter. I wish to use what I've learnt from my mental health struggles to help other students, as well as to break down the stigma surrounding issues to make it easier for people to speak out and seek help.

Click here for more tips on a Year Abroad

Find a Purpose to Drive Your Self Development

Ethan shares how self-development can improve our self-worth and mental wellbeing. 

Self-development is something we all strive for. The hope that, one day, we will be in some ways better than our current selves can be instrumental in helping us to endure the hard times and come out better on the other side. However, unless our efforts for self-development are rooted in goals that are close to our hearts, our attempts can often prove to be futile and demotivating.

One example of this is regular exercise. Despite the well known and limitless benfits it has for both our physical and mental wellbeing, many of us can find it very difficult to maintain regular exercise and settle for an on-again, off-again relationship with the hobby. Just the promise that something will make us better isn’t always enough to drive us.

During a time in my life where I was beginning to question everything that I formerly understood myself to be, I tried lots of different hobbies in a desperate need for something, or someone, significant to cease any further decline in my self-worth. But I often failed to find enjoyment in these activities and became further demoralised by the day.

It was around this time that I met my girlfriend of a year and a half. I was very hesitant to let anyone into my life at this time, when any love for myself did not appear to be on the horizon. Furthermore, having come out of a relationship somewhat recently at the time, I was busy trying to focus on loving myself before allowing myself to love anyone else.

When I did begin to let my guard down, I started to see a person who I thought deserved the best; from life and from a partner. As much as I wanted to be the kind of partner that I knew they deserved, it took me a long time to realise that I could. Now each day I work a little bit harder to be better for this person. Having someone to love is a powerful driving force in motivating us towards self-development; it’s the one thing I think of when I am expressing gratitude for the potential I’ve harnessed and the self-love I’ve developed since.

Finding something, or someone, that you love is imperative in discovering our purpose. These hobbies or people, friends or otherwise, may already be in your life, but you may have overlooked them. Alternatively, there could be something just around the corner and, with a little bit more patience and hope, it will arrive. To accelerate this process, encourage yourself to try new things, in search of finding an activity that you will find fulfilling and worth putting your time into. If you are instead someone who finds value in spending time with others, perhaps begin this search amongst societies and clubs within your University, either to try something new or explore an old love of yours; if the activity doesn’t interest you, the people you meet might. Finding a purpose that motivates you each day and that drives you to better yourself, produces the best results when it comes to learning to developing self love, the values that are important to you, and the life that you are living.

Hey, I'm Ethan! Having not found the past few years a breeze, as few people do, and struggling along the journey to know myself and where I'd like for my life to take me, I thought I'd share my experiences and the lessons I've learnt from for others going through similar struggles, in hope that you also get a better idea of how you want to experience life.
I'm currently studying Philosophy and Politics at UEA

Click here for more tips on self care 

When University gets too much for your mental health and ways in which you can look after yourself

Niraj talks about coping with university pressure. 

- Niraj

We all get told on how university is meant to be the best years of your life, and how we have to enjoy every minute of it. And I do agree that university can be a wonderful experience due to the people you meet, the endless amount of opportunities that come your way and the level of independence and freedom you get. But we have to consider both sides of the picture. For a good number of freshers this will be the first time that they have lived away from home and they now have to be responsible for things that are generally done for them at home, such as cooking, laundry and budgeting. Moreover, students from later years face the pressure of having to balance an increased workload, house bills, job applications, commuting to university every day as well as a lot of other things. Suddenly, university doesn’t seem like the perfect fantasy that we were told it would be. With a lot of things to balance at the same time, everything can hit like a truck.

I am personally someone that can relate very closely to having too much to do at the same time. Will I get everything done? Am I doing enough? What else do I need to do? These are questions that enter my mind at a regular basis. Alongside a very intense and challenging degree, I have several other commitments and responsibilities that I have to juggle at the same time, some of which are very time consuming and difficult. Not only does it cause a lot of stress and pressure, it sometimes feels like a pressure bubble has formed in my head which I can’t get out of. 

I see my friends from other degrees that face similar problems. On top of lectures, those studying maths related degrees have multiple assignments and problem sheets a week. Those studying humanities degrees have long essays to grind out at a regular basis, not to forget the hours of reading that goes along with it. Those doing science degrees have full days of intense and gruelling lab sessions as well as lab reports to complete. That’s just a handful of degrees I have mentioned, and people in other degrees experience equal difficulty. Clearly, managing a degree on its own is hard enough. But when you add in things such as commuting and dealing with overcrowded buses, multiple job applications, never ending problems with landlords and even making sure that your housemates clean the dishes, it can seem that everything is impossible to handle. I know people that have dismissed this as something that you are expected to deal with easily at university. But it is not as simple as that. When this pressure you are faced with becomes unrelenting and never ending then it can trigger feelings of anxiety and can have a detrimental impact on your mental health. And sadly, this is becoming more and more common at university, with more students than ever disclosing a mental health condition.

However, despite all the challenges you face at university, there are solutions that you can regularly implement in your routine that can go towards improving wellbeing. There are the obvious and well-known ways that provide effective long term solutions to improve your wellbeing such as seeking counselling and wellbeing services at your university. But it is worth noting that this may not be the best solution for everyone, and that there are other ways in which you can take care of yourself. Activities such as sports and exercising have been scientifically proven to have a positive impact on your wellbeing, and it is something that may help you if you have the capacity to do so. But even small things which don’t require a lot of effort and time such as treating yourself to a meal out, making time to do a hobby that you love or even going for a walk can have a massive impact. Personally, I have always enjoyed socialising and I use that as a way to destress, but everyone has different things that work for them.

Furthermore, if there was one specific piece of advice I would give you, it would be to keep things in perspective. There is a lot that we have to do as students at university, and there are times where it gets too much to handle, but your wellbeing and mental health is very important. In the moment it can feel like the essay deadline or exam that you may have is the only thing that matters right now, and that everything else doesn’t matter. This can make it extremely easy to lose perspective, as your mental health is something that will have a bigger impact in the long run than any essay or exam. It is important to realise when the pressure at university is getting to a point where your mental health is getting affected, as your mental health is something that cannot be neglected.

Hi, I'm Niraj! I am a third-year student from the University of Warwick studying Maths, Operational Research, Statistics and Economics. Having suffered from anxiety issues whilst at university, I know about the various mental health issues that university students face, and how tough it can be. I, therefore, want to raise awareness on different aspects of mental health and wellbeing, and help as many people as I can by sharing my own experiences.

For more information on how to cope, check out this link.

Taking time for yourself - even when you don’t feel like it

Charlotte shares her thoughts on why studying less may improve your grades - and your mental health.

Have you ever had that feeling that you have no time to do the things you enjoy because of the looming pressure of studying? Maybe you’d love to watch a movie, hang out with friends, or just lie in a hot bath, but you can’t make space for it in your schedule. When you are struggling with your mental health, this feeling of taking time for yourself can feel even less deserved. For some, makes us feel guilty for doing anything other than university work, and can seriously impact our wellbeing and our productivity.

When I started Brunel University as a fresh-faced 18 year old, I told myself that I didn’t have time for any clubs or societies. I was going to focus on my education and get a kick-ass degree! Things didn’t exactly work out that way; because I had no hobbies, and nothing else to dedicate my time to, I spent way too long studying in the library, or late into the night. One of the biggest regrets of my university experience is that I didn’t take the time to make friends through clubs and societies. I didn’t find that social outlet that I needed to help with the isolation and loneliness that living away from home can bring.

This guilt over ‘me-time’ got worse when I studied for a Master’s degree at Bristol UWE. Being a distance-learning course, I had even more of an opportunity to isolate myself due to the lack of a campus community, and the content of the course being completely online. I started to worry if I began working later than 9am. I wouldn’t give myself a lunch break longer than half an hour, and I completely neglected the need to exercise or just chill out.

Of course, this didn’t make me any better at studying. In fact, I spent most of my time worrying about studying and generally being inefficient, because studying was all I thought about. This resulted in me developing an anxiety disorder and unhealthy work habits that have stayed with me to this day, over a year after finishing my studies. According to the American Psychological Association, ‘excessive or inappropriate guilt’ is a key symptom of clinical depression, so it’s not surprising that a lot of students with mental health issues feel guilty for taking time off from studying.

One of my fellow course mates had a part-time job, a netball coaching job, and various other hobbies and activities that she indulged in, always managing to spend time on her studies as well. That girl eventually really DID get a kick-ass degree!

As counter intuitive as it seems, taking time away from studying and spending a healthy amount of time on self-care is THE BIGGEST tool for success and wellbeing that there is! Everyone needs to recharge their batteries regularly. So, have a think about what you like to do to relax and unwind. Is it reading a book? Going for a run? Something that has really helped me is having a list of things that I know I enjoy readily available to me to look at when I feel I need a break. Another helpful tip is to make yourself clear, realistic, small goals every day. Something like: ‘today I will read 2 journal articles’. And then when you complete those tasks, don’t be tempted to give yourself more. You’ve done what you set out to do!

Too much studying can have a really big impact on our health and wellbeing, and can give us a distorted view of how much our grades mean in the grand scheme of things. Be kind to yourself and prioritise that me-time as much as you need.

Hi I’m Charlotte! I work at the London School of Economics looking at refining and improving the student experience in my department. I graduated with a BSc in Psychology in 2012, and an MSc in Sport and Exercise Psychology in 2017; these university experiences alerted me to the debilitating effect anxiety and depression can have on young people, as it was something I struggled with. Coming across the Student Minds blog made me wish I’d found a resource like this when I was studying, so I want to give back to the community by sharing my experience.

Social Anxiety and How to Make Friends at University

Astrid talks about her journey to finding great friends at university.

- Astrid

Often students move halfway across the country to attend university, without knowing anyone else and having to fend for themselves for the first time. My biggest fear about joining uni was not making friends and I shared this fear with most other students. 

Being a fresher should be exciting and I didn’t want my worries to prevent me having any fun. Here are some ways I made making friends easier: I decided to volunteer abroad before I began university. I thought it would boost my confidence and make me more comfortable living and spending a lot of time with a new group of people. I was right! 

It introduced me to stepping outside my comfort zone for a shorter period of time. It also prepared me to meet a large group of new people and engage with them. Most of the people I met were also volunteering by themselves. Nobody knew anybody beforehand, and everyone was in the same boat!

The stories my fellow volunteers told me were surprising. Many others were volunteering for similar reasons to myself, to boost their confidence or even help manage their mental health. The coordinators even said that about a quarter of volunteers are on a form of medication or treatment for mental health conditions. Volunteering abroad is primarily done collectively, volunteers sharing their interest in helping others and the work they are doing, forming natural friendships with plenty to chat about in the evenings.

Since my first time volunteering, I have joined many different projects with different organisations, both affordable and expensive. The range of people from different backgrounds was far wider on more affordable programmes. 

I can’t be 100% sure if my teaching and building work was helping my anxiety as there were so many other things happening as well: meeting new people, living and working together, going out in the evenings and weekend tours. But I would definitely recommend volunteering as it totally worked for me and covers so many bases. I’m not sure if volunteering on my own on a computer in my room would’ve had the same effect!

Once I’d started university, I felt more confident talking to new people and wasn’t scared to live with a group of strangers. I am confident this wouldn’t have been possible without spending time volunteering abroad. However, I still didn’t feel comfortable knocking on people’s doors and introducing myself. I came up with another way to make friends. 

I thought if I joined clubs then I could meet people and we would share an interest, as it had worked with volunteering. I made a mistake in joining the football team to begin with. I knew the basic rule, kick the ball into the goal, and thought that it would be great exercise. But I hadn’t considered that the majority of people who had joined the football team had played football at school, some even knew each other from their schools playing each other in the past. My lack of skill made me stand out for all of the wrong reasons. 

After failing miserably at playing football, I chose to join the water polo team. No one on the team had ever played before and we were all novices. We instantly had something in common, our lack of water polo skills.

I also joined the ice-skating team. The first couple of lessons were spent with everyone continuously falling over. After the first time it became a joke and we bonded over sore bottoms and bruised legs. Volunteering abroad and joining clubs at university helped making friends effortless. I would recommend anyone who is nervous about making friends at university to volunteer abroad beforehand, even if it is only a couple of weeks before freshers.

When at uni, join as many groups as possible, the weirder and less common the club the more likely there will be fellow newbies who you can bond with over inexperience. 

Some Useful Links:Transition to UniKnow before you Go

Astrid Halliday loves travelling and especially getting away overseas to help build and develop a community. Volunteering many times with Original Volunteers and also with Habitat For Humanity, she loves sharing her passion and encouraging other to travel in a similar way.

Treat Yourself

Rachel discusses self-esteem and success. 

So many people over the years have told me that the key to success is 'working really hard'. Dedication together with food, water, and sleep are a crucial mix to achieve any goal.

And that is where the advice often ends.

But clocking as many hours as possible is not a recipe for success. It's a recipe for short-term gain and long-term destruction (Fleming, 2018). Not only do 72-hour weeks contribute towards reducing a person's dedication, but they also impact negatively on the other important elements of success. If you are working 12-hour days, chances are you are also skipping meals, on a caffeine drip, and not catching enough sleep. Human beings are not made to operate like machines.

Having volunteered for years with GirlGuiding UK, I have watched time and time again as schools put an intense amount of pressure on students to 'work harder', 'do more', and 'get better'. But all these students are hearing is 'I am not good enough'. Is it any wonder 82% students suffer from stress and anxiety (Veiber, 2017)?

Now is the time to refocus. If we chose to look at our successes rather than our failures and acknowledge our efforts over our shortfalls, we can form a positive view on the work that we are committing and recommitting to every single day (Herald, 2014).

“Here’s your protection for whatever comes: Find something to be happy about every day, and every hour if possible, moment-to-moment, even if only for a few minutes.” - Gregg Braden

Mr Braden has it right! The only thing he doesn't warn us though, is that positivity isn't easy to achieve. It doesn't appear over night. Sometimes we need a little boost to help us get through! Science shows that individuals providing themselves small incentives improve their self control and energy, feeling contended, comforted, and cared for. The contrary is also true; when an individual fails to incentivise themselves, they can burn out, becoming depleted and resentful (Rubin, 2014).

This is where I come to my title: Treat Yourself! On the days you are struggling, banging your head against the wall is not going to help. But going out for a brisk walk, having a real cup of coffee (not the instant stuff!), or doing whatever it is you enjoy doing in your 'me time' - might! Providing oneself with treats is proven to help maintain healthy and good habits (Rubin, 2014).

I am currently in the midst of revision. Now it is crunch time - exams are around the corner. I cannot devour enough information quickly enough! That said, spending eight hours a day hunched over books can become monotonous and ultimately demoralising - I have yet to meet someone who loves revision.

So I break up my day with little treats to keep me going; I practice some mindfulness techniques, volunteer, get a manicure, have a cup of hot chocolate (I'm not a fan of coffee!), work on an art project, or even write a blog post! There are millions of different things you can do to help you over a 'hump'! There is no one-size-fits-all. Keep trying until you find whatever it is that works for you!

I hope whatever it is you choose to be and whatever it is you choose to do to break up your day; you find something that puts a smile on your face!

I have found self-rewarding to be one of the most effective strategies for handling stress. You may have other tips or methods, so please feel free to share them in the comments section!

Rachel Gordon is a student at Brunel University London, reading Business and Management Bsc. A creative writer, Rachel is also an active blogger at her site www.millennial-me.co.ukand in a recent collaborative project, she released a motivational calendar for the year 2019 to raise funds for charity. Rachel volunteers for The Scouts Association and GirlGuiding UK; charities that offer a wide range of opportunities to children and has achieved awards for her dedication. Fluent in both English and Hebrew, she privately tutors Modern Hebrew at both Primary and Secondary Education Level.

For more articles, tips, or information, get in touch: @millennial_me_

Here are some supportive links if you're struggling with managing university stress: 

Starting University (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/startinguniversity.html)

Mind Matters (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/mindmatters.html) 

Fears, Futures, and Third Year

In this blog, Phoebe discusses final year stresses and the fear of life after university, giving some advice on how to manage these worries. 

I'm in my final year now. I'm very stressed and fearful that I may or may not have taken too much on. Certain things haven't gone to plan and the future is rather uncertain at the minute. 

Being a student isn't all fun and drinking games, but recently I've been feeling immensely overwhelmed by life. It's finally time to start getting approval for my dissertation, my third-year placement is beginning soon, and I kind of don't know where to begin with planning my life after university. 

I'm more than aware I'm not the only person in this situation. Many other people will be about to embark on the same pathway as me, so in the midst of my uncertainty here are a few thoughts I came up with: 

It's OK to feel like this: it's totally OK to not have everything figured out. I know myself enough to know that I can get through this, and similarly you will find your way. And if you need support, then seek it: everybody needs a helping hand at some point in their life. 

Reach out: Once, during my first year, I hit a real low with my mental health. It was one of the worst relapses I've ever had and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ask my friends for help because I was so scared that they wouldn't want to be my friends anymore. But they stayed with me until the early hours of the next day and it actually brought us closer together. So don’t be afraid.

Believe in yourself: I think the main thing I'm going to rely on this year is myself. I know that I work hard and I know that I can do this: this current stress will pass. I'm going to give this year my best shot and if I don’t get the grade I want, then actually, that's fine. My best is all I can give and my best also involves taking care of myself. 

Take care of yourself: Recently I realised that there a lot of potential limitations to my research project and I'm absolutely petrified that it won't work. Whilst I've been an anxious mess, getting disproportionately stressed, I completely missed the connection that would tie my topics together. Taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself might actually end up being the one thing that helps you carry on. 

There may be overwhelming moments lurking in the future; stress may be about to surmount to quite high levels; but I guarantee you one thing: you are more than capable. Everything you need is within you and there is so much support available around you, for you to use when you need, and to help you reach where you want to go. 

My name is Phoebe, I’m 20 and a 3rd year Psychology student at Nottingham Trent University. I spend a lot of time campaigning for mental health awareness and I’m an ambassador for a number of mental health organisations including Beat and Time to Change.  I also have my own personal blog which I’ll leave the link to here: https://phoebebarr6.wixsite.com/website. Feel more than free to get in touch!

  

Dear Fresher Me

Michael writes about some tips and tricks he wish he knew as a fresher. 

Starting university can be a really fun, exciting, and self-defining experience. But it can also be challenging, particularly whilst you settle in and find your feet. I started university after spending two years in full time work and I found it really intimidating and overwhelming. I felt like I didn’t belong and this made me anxious around others and pretty hard on myself. 5 years later I am still at uni and much happier. Here, I give my 5 #DearFresherMe tips for managing when you start university.

1.      Find Your University Support

You might not need it but it’s always helpful to have an idea early on of where to go for support if you feel like are struggling. Find out what student welfare services and general pastoral care your university provides, what they do, and how to access them. It helped me to speak to a member of the welfare team on the first day - after that, they looked out for me during the first few weeks whilst I was struggling.

2.      Ask for Help if You Need It. 

Speak up if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. I found that people were really supportive and accommodating if they knew you were struggling but, with so many other students, they might not realise something is wrong unless you tell them. Equally don’t be afraid to ask about uni life more generally. I thought that if I asked questions about the academic or social elements of university life, people would think I was stupid. But it becomes harder to ask the longer time goes on. The opening few weeks are a really good time to explore how everything works and ask questions.

3.      Get into a Healthy Routine.

You might find when you get to University that you have less compulsory contact hours than you expected. For some, this can make it hard to know when the work starts, whilst, for others, it can be hard to know when it stops. Either way, it will be helpful to get into a healthy routine early on to help balance your time and look after yourself. I found that it helped to treat my uni work as a job with set times and spaces; I chose to only work at the library so that I could keep my room as a time and space for me. 

4.      Get Organised

Because I felt anxious and overwhelmed, it really helped to get organised. Use a diary, record academic deadlines and other commitments, file your work, and regularly check and sort your university emails to make sure that you are on track and don’t miss anything. This will likely save you some stress and last minute panics!

5.      Relationships Matter.

Having a good support network of friends will help you get the most out of your university experience. Although building new friendships takes time and effort, it really is worth it. If you find it hard meeting new people, you won’t be alone – there will be other people that will feel the same and really appreciate a smile and a chat. Or you could try to find ways of meeting people with similar interests by joining societies or volunteering.

Everybody’s university journey is unique, and we all go to university with different hopes, fears and expectations. Try to take things at your own pace based on the advice that feels right for you. 

About Michael:

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm a postgraduate student at Durham. I want to write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of depression and anxiety and tackle the stigma around mental health.

Some useful links:

Finding Support: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/findsupport.html

Transition to university: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/transitions.html

Looking after your wellbeing:  

https://www.studentminds.org.uk/lookingafteryourmentalwellbeing.html