Social Anxiety and How to Make Friends at University

Astrid talks about her journey to finding great friends at university.

- Astrid

Often students move halfway across the country to attend university, without knowing anyone else and having to fend for themselves for the first time. My biggest fear about joining uni was not making friends and I shared this fear with most other students. 

Being a fresher should be exciting and I didn’t want my worries to prevent me having any fun. Here are some ways I made making friends easier: I decided to volunteer abroad before I began university. I thought it would boost my confidence and make me more comfortable living and spending a lot of time with a new group of people. I was right! 

It introduced me to stepping outside my comfort zone for a shorter period of time. It also prepared me to meet a large group of new people and engage with them. Most of the people I met were also volunteering by themselves. Nobody knew anybody beforehand, and everyone was in the same boat!

The stories my fellow volunteers told me were surprising. Many others were volunteering for similar reasons to myself, to boost their confidence or even help manage their mental health. The coordinators even said that about a quarter of volunteers are on a form of medication or treatment for mental health conditions. Volunteering abroad is primarily done collectively, volunteers sharing their interest in helping others and the work they are doing, forming natural friendships with plenty to chat about in the evenings.

Since my first time volunteering, I have joined many different projects with different organisations, both affordable and expensive. The range of people from different backgrounds was far wider on more affordable programmes. 

I can’t be 100% sure if my teaching and building work was helping my anxiety as there were so many other things happening as well: meeting new people, living and working together, going out in the evenings and weekend tours. But I would definitely recommend volunteering as it totally worked for me and covers so many bases. I’m not sure if volunteering on my own on a computer in my room would’ve had the same effect!

Once I’d started university, I felt more confident talking to new people and wasn’t scared to live with a group of strangers. I am confident this wouldn’t have been possible without spending time volunteering abroad. However, I still didn’t feel comfortable knocking on people’s doors and introducing myself. I came up with another way to make friends. 

I thought if I joined clubs then I could meet people and we would share an interest, as it had worked with volunteering. I made a mistake in joining the football team to begin with. I knew the basic rule, kick the ball into the goal, and thought that it would be great exercise. But I hadn’t considered that the majority of people who had joined the football team had played football at school, some even knew each other from their schools playing each other in the past. My lack of skill made me stand out for all of the wrong reasons. 

After failing miserably at playing football, I chose to join the water polo team. No one on the team had ever played before and we were all novices. We instantly had something in common, our lack of water polo skills.

I also joined the ice-skating team. The first couple of lessons were spent with everyone continuously falling over. After the first time it became a joke and we bonded over sore bottoms and bruised legs. Volunteering abroad and joining clubs at university helped making friends effortless. I would recommend anyone who is nervous about making friends at university to volunteer abroad beforehand, even if it is only a couple of weeks before freshers.

When at uni, join as many groups as possible, the weirder and less common the club the more likely there will be fellow newbies who you can bond with over inexperience. 

Some Useful Links:Transition to UniKnow before you Go

Astrid Halliday loves travelling and especially getting away overseas to help build and develop a community. Volunteering many times with Original Volunteers and also with Habitat For Humanity, she loves sharing her passion and encouraging other to travel in a similar way.

5 Reasons Why You Should Write for the Student Minds Blog

In this blog, Carys, one of our sub-editors, shares the reasons why she writes for this blog and reassures those considering blogging for us…

1. Blogging is powerful:

A lot of people who are struggling with their mental health find comfort on the internet, where they can research symptoms and read stories of personal experiences without anyone knowing. The Student Minds blog is an enormous hub of information about pretty much everything to do with student well-being (if there’s something you feel is missing… write about it for us!). We know a lot of students and recent graduates find comfort and reassurance in the work we publish, in addition to the relevant signposting to other charities or services that they might find beneficial. 

2. Blogging is rewarding:

Furthermore, blogging for us is so rewarding. By sharing your personal story and experience on the “biggest blog dedicated to student mental health and well-being”, you are certainly helping at least one other person to get the help they need or to manage challenging situations. We all know how it feels when university isn’t really the time of our lives like everyone said it would be. The Student Minds blog gives us a platform to help someone else in their recovery. It is so fulfilling. 

3. Blogging does not require you to have a diagnosed mental illness:

Mental health and mental illness are two separate things: everyone has a mental health but only some people have a mental illness. Here at Student Minds we talk about mental health as a continuum, which means we recognise our mental health as fluctuating constantly and as incredibly personal to an individual. Needing to have a mental illness to write for us is a complete myth! Student mental well-being is such a broad subject area that affects all students and we welcome posts from all perspectives. Check out the blog for ideas and examples of titles. 

4. Blogging is for everyone:

Honestly, if you’re interested in contributing to our blog, we want to hear from you! Even if you’ve never blogged before or are not sure about your topic being relevant – I bet if past-you would have found it useful, it will be for someone else too! 

In addition to our blogging guidelines which contain loads of blogging tips and rules, there is the blog editorial team. There are 9 of us in total and we are just ordinary student volunteers from across the UK - not professional writers or famous bloggers – so the pressure’s off! After you’ve sent us your draft blog via the Write for the Blog web-page, one of us will be assigned to work with you to make sure that it is trigger-free and typo-free before uploading it. We will always make sure you’re happy with the edited version before we publish. Lots of you may be worried about “writing the wrong thing” – a concern we hear a lot. The role of the editorial team is to make sure things are appropriate to publish and we are trained to spot these “wrong things” and change them. 

Finally, an average blog post is 600-800 words – not a lot at all! It’s not as time consuming or difficult as you might think. We also are not just all about blogging: this year we are wanting to expand the blog to include vlogs! If writing isn’t your thing but the camera is, why not give it a go? 

5. Blogging is awesome:

The blogging community (you guys) is really the heart of the blog. So many contributors from many different walks of life all come together to make this blog a reality – it could be you too! I personally love the mini biography and photo at the end of each post, as it really helps give some personality to the blog and show that we are all just students helping other students. In this section we are more than happy to link your personal blog or website too if you’d like! 

However, we understand writing about mental health can be a sensitive area and sometimes you’re not quite fully ready to share. Of course, you can publish your blog anonymously – we just won’t put this part at the end, nor your name in the blurb – either giving you a pseudonym of your choice or simply being called anon.

Behind this blog are 9 amazing volunteers who give up our time to make this a reality and be a huge source of information for students and recent graduates across the UK. We all really hope to see your work in our inbox and online very soon! If you have any questions you can tweet or DM us @StudentMindsOrg and we’ll get back to you! 

I'm Carys, a 4th year Modern Languages student at Durham University. As well as my passion for languages and travel, I love talking about mental health and I am one of the Student Minds editors this year. Please get in touch if you have any questions or comments about my work - I love hearing from you!

Volunteering and Mental Health

Emily celebrates volunteering week by sharing how taking part can be beneficial to our mental and emotional health and wellbeing. 

- Emily

Each year, Volunteers’ Week is celebrated nationally from the 1st until the 7th of June. It aims to recognise and to celebrate those who give their time freely to a cause that they are passionate about. Volunteering as a university student can come in many forms – charity shop work, blogging, working with young children or older people in the wider community, social media volunteering… the list is endless. Volunteering isn’t a one-way street and there are lots of benefits for the volunteer. Aside from being a real opportunity to use existing skills, as well as to develop new skills, volunteering is a brilliant chance to boost your CV and gain work experience whilst at university. However, volunteering is also extremely beneficial to our mental and emotional health and wellbeing.

Here are some reasons as to why and how this is:

• Volunteering helps to reduce depression – it is a way to increase social interaction. Depression can be a lonely and isolating experience, but volunteering is a way to counteract this and to build a support system.
• It also reduces stress levels – there is no doubt that university is extremely stressful at times. Volunteering gives you a real sense of meaning and appreciation, which thus helps you to feel calmer.
• Volunteering helps to keep things in perspective – volunteering to help people who are less fortunate than yourself can give you a different outlook on life and help you to view your own life with a more positive mind set.
• It makes the world a happier place in which to live – acts of kindness undertaken through volunteering have a real potential to make the world a much happier and nicer place. It encourages others to do good deeds, which therefore leads to a more positive community.
• Doing more for others means that you are doing more for yourself – this might sound a little complicated, but it isn’t. By volunteering, giving your time and doing good things for other people, you’re also doing something for yourself too. Volunteering helps you to build up a ‘kindness bank’ so to speak of special memories that can be reflected on positively in the future. 

Being a volunteer myself, I can assure others that these are true benefits of volunteering, and that this list is certainly not exhaustive of the many more benefits that volunteering can have on mental health. I really enjoy volunteering – it makes me feel as though I am doing something worthwhile and positive for things that I strongly believe in and am passionate about.

I would definitely recommend that students get involved with volunteering during their time at university.

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back.” 

My name is Emily (Em). I am currently in my final year studying Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting at Swansea University, where I'm also the Creative Writing Section Editor and Deputy Editor for The Waterfront - Swansea's student newspaper. I wanted to write for Student Minds because I have experienced depression and anxiety as well as other health issues, and I support friends who have also experienced mental health difficulties. I am also a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences - both in helping me to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help others.

10 lessons I have learnt running a Student Minds' campaigns group

Rosie shares how the process of volunteering as a campaigner has been beneficial to her university experience.

- Rosie Steele

When I started my Student Minds group at Liverpool John Moores I had mixed emotions. I was excited about the year ahead and what I would gain out of it, and how many people I could reach with the message. I was also nervous and apprehensive as I was starting this in my third year, the year with the biggest workload and it was going to inevitably divide my attention.

Divide my attention it has but in the best possible way. Here are ten lessons I’ve learnt/ things I have gained through running my campaigns group this last year:

1.    How to put my degree into practice – Transferable skills
I study Media, Culture and Communication and throughout the three years, we have learnt a lot about social media campaigning, marketing and event planning. Running the group has given me the opportunity to put these skills into practice allowing me to solidify my knowledge and understand what truly works and what does not. It has been a real learning curve and taught me more about campaigning than a traditional sit-down lecture ever could. Even if you do not study a communications-focused course the transferable skills gained including leadership, planning and time-management will be invaluable to any CV come graduation.

2. Networking
Through the group, I have found so many people who make the university run and who help make the university experience inclusive for all, that I simply did not know existed beforehand. Although I had used the Student Advice and Wellbeing service personally in my second year, through meeting with them I learnt what they really do, and began to signpost others to their services who possibly were not aware of what they do. I also met with Student Engagement who run out of each school to help all students who may not want to trek their way across to the Student Advice building. I have also learnt about Disability Officers, the role of tutors in wellbeing and even about what student accommodation staff do. It really has made me question the “9 grand for power-points” narrative that often circulates among students.

3. How I’m not alone in the way I’m feeling
Every single person who has attended the group across the year has told me they too are feeling lonely, scared, stressed, having housemate troubles and like they do not fit in. It has helped me to normalise my own experience and realise I am not the odd one out in feeling this way. One in four adults experience mental health difficulties so you definitely are not the only one who is not having the time of their life at university. That is mainly the reason I started the group after all.

4. How to take breaks
Before this year, breaks within my studying were few and far in-between and I would often spend eight hours straight in the library and then extra when I got home. Starting the group meant that once a month, during the socials, I would have an hour where I could not focus on work, but the topic of the evening. Now I find letting myself have breaks so much easier.  If someone came to the group stressed, taking breaks, and not feeling guilty for it would always be my first piece of advice.

5. Sense of belonging
For my first two years, I always felt like I did not belong and like I did not fit in with everyone else. Through meeting people outside of my course, and other societies I felt myself merging in with the wider university community. My only regret at university is not getting involved in a society sooner as it has been such a good way to meet new people and explore my university city through making use of student offers with the group.

6. Importance of peer support
The campaign we really focused on this year has been the Look After Your Mate campaign which focuses on how we can care for our friends who may be struggling with university pressures whilst also caring for our own wellbeing. I always knew that friendship was important but being there for others and them being there for me has taught me to look out for small signs in others and how to be a good support network.

7. Confidence in my abilities
The reaction to the group from members of university staff has been so much more positive than I could have ever believed. Instead of playing down my hard work and dedication to the group I have learnt to accept the compliments and be proud of all the effort I have put in. I have always had really low self-esteem, especially academically, so for me, this has been a breakthrough.

8. Professionalism
I have learnt how to write emails in a professional way and how to hold myself in meetings. As with transferable skills, I feel like I will be able to head into job interviews with a clearer sense of how to hold myself professionally.

9. How to celebrate the tiny victories
When I first started the group, I was obsessed with the numbers. How many people came, how many people joined as members on the SU website, how many people wanted to come back. I then realised that it was about so much more than that. It was about helping people, making their university experience a little bit better, about campaigning, whether that be to one person or one hundred people. When I started looking at the small details, of how this was our first year and we were doing well did I really start enjoying running the group. I can now relate this to other areas of my life, look at the smaller details and see just how much you have achieved.

10. Friendships
I started the group alone over the summer between second and third year when I knew I needed to make a change. I then roped in two of my best friends to help me. Although I possibly would not recommend this as sometimes committee meetings and socials would veer slightly off course with personal dramas it gave us a space to nurture our friendship away from alcohol-centric environments. I feel like even though in a few weeks we will be split across the country we will remain friends for life due to how we have allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and open in front of each other in ways we may not have been if we had not started the group.

Tonight, we had our last social with our current committee. I am beyond proud what we have achieved in a single year. When I started the group I never thought we would get as far as we have. The highlight for me has to be talking on a panel at a Let’s Talk Disability and Mental Health event with Rosie the CEO of Student Minds about peer support and the role of student volunteers. As I sat on the stage I thought of my younger self who could barely manage five lessons a day, now sat in a room full of people talking about the importance of student mental health.

If your university already has a Student Minds group or similar campaigns group I would definitely recommend looking at how you can get involved. I have learnt so much but also had so much fun. It truly has been a year I will never forget, and I have got to help others along the way making it all the more valuable.

Rosie is a soon to be Media, Culture, Communication graduate from Liverpool John Moores and has run their Student Minds campaign group for the last year. 

Supporting from the field: Manchester Men’s Hockey Club

Student Minds is the chosen charity for Manchester University Men’s Hockey Club. Here, John explores why they chose Student Minds, and what hockey is like beyond the sport itself.

- John

It’s easy to assume that most university sports clubs fulfil the stereotype: a big group of lads who don’t necessarily have the capacity for sincerity, sensibility, or a conversation on the subject of anything other than ‘beer and banter’. As one of the largest clubs at Manchester University, everyone in the Men’s Hockey Club is aware that this is how we are viewed by many who don’t know us. However, the reality is actually very different.

The friends that I have in the hockey club are genuinely among the most considerate and friendly people you could possibly come across. The club has always been keen to emphasise that it is inclusive to everyone, and the experience always trumps the hearsay. I’ll always remember my very own Freshers’ Welcome Day -  every current member of the club took genuine interest and the time to ask who I was, what I was studying, and have a chat. Especially considering that I hadn’t played hockey for two years, this had the potential to be an intimidating environment, being watched by established members of the club. However, I managed not to embarrass myself, and instead I met people who I am friends with today. 

It never fails to amaze me, seeing how a sport can bring people together. We have so many members from a variety of different backgrounds, but we all have hockey in common – which at the end of the day is all that matters. This unifying factor creates a tight-knit community; the hockey boys are some of the most loyal guys I know.

This is why we decided to support Student Minds, and why it is such an important cause for us. For me, hockey is an outlet from the stresses of university life. I am a third year Architecture student, and the grade I achieve will ultimately affect the direction of my career. On top of my own personal life, that’s a lot of pressure. When I’m on that pitch, though, my only worry is the scoreline, the man I have to mark, or the pass I’m looking to play. Many will tell you that Wednesdays are sacred, and we mean it. It’s one day of the week where nothing else matters. 

Supporting Student Minds reflects what our club is to us. Hockey helps us, and we want to make sure that others have the same kind of support. 1 in 4 students suffers from a mental health issue, and while hockey is a fantastic community and support system, the pressures to perform well on the pitch can affect people, myself included. Mental wellbeing interacts with physical wellbeing, and this is a cause that is genuinely close to our hearts. 

This year, we have baked, raffled, even grown moustaches to raise money for Student Minds, and we’ve also been encouraging other clubs to take up the cause too. We’ve also just booked a charity club night, are planning a bingo evening, organising a campus league tournament, and are running the Manchester 10k in aid of Student Minds. Any of my team mates will tell you that with my asthma, I rarely last 10 minutes on the field, so 10k is a real challenge!

When you think of a university sports club now, hopefully you will see us as a group of lads who care about each other and are ready to welcome anyone into their world. Don’t get me wrong, we still have our weird traditions, and sing our songs louder than the rugby lot, but we also really care that everyone has the best possible time at university. We are proud to support Student Minds, and show that it’s ok to have problems, its ok to talk, and that even ‘the hockey lads’ have some heart.

Hi, I’m John. I’m an architecture student at Manchester and the charity secretary for the Men’s Hockey Club. I personally have suffered with mental health issues, and as a club, we are motivated to change attitudes towards it and to support Student Minds in the work that they do.

How editing my students’ newspaper helps my mental health

Emily writes about how taking on editorial positions has boosted her confidence and mental health.

- Emily Maybanks 

Since the beginning of my final year at Swansea University in September 2017, I have been the Creative Writing Section Editor for the Swansea University students’ newspaper – the Waterfront – and since November, I have also been one of two Deputy Editors. The Waterfront newspaper has been such a huge part of my life at university; I’ve been writing for the paper since my second year. The Waterfront has been hugely beneficial for my mental health in a variety of ways, especially since beginning my editorial positions. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for several years, but for the first time, I’ve found something I am genuinely passionate about and something that I am slowly improving on.

• Firstly, editing for the Waterfront has given me chance and confidence to meet new people, and to reach out to new people. One of the biggest things I’ve done for the Waterfront is interview the singer Calum Scott in Cardiff last October. 

• Secondly, the Waterfront has given me a reason to get up in the mornings, when my mental health has been particularly bad or when university has been more stressful. Being able to go and work on designing the Waterfront or putting an online article together often calms me right down and leaves me feeling positive. 

• Editing, as well as writing, for the Waterfront has also given me so many new skills and new experiences. The aforementioned interview that I did is an example of this. I have also gained experience using new software to learn how the paper is put together each month, and I’ve run a content meeting. 

• Fourthly, I’ve been able to use the Waterfront as a platform to write about and share my experiences of mental health. I believe that this is important because I’ve been able to offer advice and support and reassurance to other students who may be struggling with mental health. 

• Finally, I have gained so much self-confidence through my editorial experiences and positions. Having always been someone who has struggled enormously with my self-confidence and self-esteem, the Waterfront has had such a positive impact on my mental health and my confidence levels. 

Getting involved with a student media platform – whether it is your students’ newspaper, or your University’s radio station – is something I would very much recommend for anyone looking to improve their mental health. What can start off as a very positive hobby can often lead to new prospects and open new doors.  I can 100% say that getting involved with the Waterfront newspaper at Swansea University has been one of the best choices I’ve made during my degree. The positive impact that it has had on my mental health surprises me sometimes.

My name is Emily (Em). I am currently in my final year studying Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting at Swansea University, where I'm also the Creative Writing Section Editor and Deputy Editor for The Waterfront - Swansea's student newspaper. I wanted to write for Student Minds because I have experienced depression and anxiety as well as other health issues, and I support friends who have also experienced mental health difficulties. I am also a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences - both in helping me to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help others.